Just When I Needed It Most...

I am constantly amazed by God's Grace and Mercy. The past couple of weeks I have been struggling spiritually as my resolve to follow Christ has been tested.

Today, in my Sunday School class, God gave me an answer to my recent prayers. I walked in our class late this morning after struggling whether to even go at all. The class was discussing Luke 21:12-17. As we discussed being persecuted for Christ, I realized that if I cannot be faithful to Him in the small trials that I am facing, how am I going to be faithful when the real persecution starts? Or am I going to buckle when being faced with losing a family member or even my own life?

There are people who are currently being persecuted and killed for declaring the word, who continue to stand strong and true to Christ. (See Voice of the Martyrs) And here am I, comfortable in my faith and the minute a negative breeze swings in my direction, I buckle. What good am I then for Christ? What a wake up call for me!

But how gracious and loving is Christ that He would remind me of this. He could have simply let me continue my downward path and let me quit. But no, he gently reminded me that I am His and that the trials that I am facing were promised to me the moment he claimed me as His own. And how much more wonderful that through my trials, a person has come to a better understanding of who God is! Who am I to minimize this victory by selfishly focusing on the trials instead of focusing on God and His Greatness?

"In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Just as it is written, "FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED."

But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:26-39

Purpose of Marriage...

Once again, I have learned that I am not perfect (not that I need much help being reminded of that!). You would think I would get it after the first hundred times. But no, pride keeps rearing it's ugly head. Fortunately for me, I have an amazing husband who knows exactly what to say to diffuse the situation. The best part about it, is that most of what he says in these situations, he backs up with scripture. The worst part about it is the fact that I am having such a struggle with pride. God is so good! He has given me such a good man who despite my failures continues to love me even when I am being prideful and want to just quit.

Paul Washer on Marriage:


Today, God showed me who my husband is becoming through Christ. I am so amazed by how gracious He truly is and am equally awed by His work in my family's lives. There is hope for the rest of my family (the mormon side) yet!

"For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless." Ephesians 5:23-27

Burdens

It is interesting how much has happened in the two weeks since I posted my testimony on this blog. I started posting with the hope that even one person in my family would read the post and turn to God. It seems that God has something else in mind, however. Through my posting, God is showing the areas in my life that need improving. For example, I am currently in a season of life where I have to work outside of the home. My heart has been yearning to come home to raise my children, especially with Kaesi starting Kindergarten next year. I have let this desire consume me during the past week enough that I have had a lot of trouble focusing at work.

Although I have completed my work, I have done it begrudgingly. I have even started to think about ways that I could end my job. Here is the thing, I gave this burden to God the last time I started to feel this way (months ago). This past week I tried to take it back from God. He "gently" reminded me today that I gave this burden to Him and that I couldn't have it back. The interesting thing is, he used something almost unrelated to show me the truth.

I was looking for a way to "politely" tell someone to guard their tongue, and instead found the following verse:

"...and do not give the devil an opportunity. He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:27-32

As I read these verses, God opened my eyes to the fact that by not working wholeheartedly while at work I was in essence stealing. And by holding on to the bitterness that I was quickly stockpiling because of issues at work and home, I was/am grieving the Holy Spirit of God. Ouch!

It reminded me of Romans where Paul struggles with wanting to do good, but failing because of his humanity. Please forgive my paraphrase, here is the Bible passage: Romans 7:14-25 And you have to read Romans 8 when you are finished with that...

Since I am unable to say it any better than Paul, I will end this post with this: Though I am weak, God is sending me through the refiners fire and will make me strong in Him. He is creating in me a new person through Jesus Christ His Son.

Thoughts on past conversations and regrets...

"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? And in thy name have cast out devils? And in thy name done many wonderful works? Then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." -- Matthew 7:21-23

My aunt and I would talk about various things when she was alive. Sometimes when we were talking about my grandpa, she would say that he used to tell her that a lot of people in our family were going to be surprised when they reached the other side (meaning after they die, of course). I always wondered what that meant. Until recently, I didn't quite get it. It makes me wonder if my grandpa figured out the truth about Mormonism before he died...

Another conversation my aunt and I had was regarding the Temple ceremonies. When she first went through the temple with my grandpa, there were additional ceremonies that were removed before the first time I went through the temple. We were talking a bit about the first experience of going through the temple. She said that while the ceremonies were taking place, she felt uncomfortable and thought that it wasn't right. However, she looked over at her father who had taken her there and thought that if it wasn't right he wouldn't be doing it. Oh, how right she was at being uncomfortable about the ceremonies.

One major regret that I have is this: I had the opportunity to share the truth with my aunt before she passed away and I did not do it, because I was afraid what my family members that were in the room with me would say. I also wasn't born again myself at this time, only thought I was (although this is not an excuse). However, all that aside, I will always regret not speaking up. The lesson learned is that every opportunity I have to speak to someone about Jesus Christ, I must speak and push past my fear of man.

"Fear not, for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; yea, I will help you; yea I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Behold, all they that were incensed against you shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with you shall perish. You shall seek them, and shall not find them, even them that contended with you: they that war against you shall be as nothing, and as a thing of nought. For I the Lord your God will hold your right hand, saying to you, Fear not; I will help you." Isaiah 41:10-13