How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

The past couple weeks a recurring theme has been coming up during my devotional time and while listening to my favorite podcasts. Recently, I was referred to a couple's blog that was such a great example of glorifying God in sickness and even death. It has had such an impact on me in that I have started to question how I would handle a situation like that. I would hope that I would have the same desire to use my situation to glorify God, but I fear that my flesh would give way. After all, I have struggled with glorifying God with the small things, how can I expect that I would react differently in a life changing situation?

I was reading my daily verses last week and came upon a confusing verse: Exodus 4:24. I decided to study it using commentaries and corresponding verses (still new to Hermeneutics, not sure I did it exactly right) and ran across a sermon by W.A. Criswell which talks about women (Moses' wife in particular) who can be overbearing to their mild husbands. Now I am not sure how biblically sound his theory is, but it started me thinking again about how I would like to be remembered: as a woman of fury, or as a woman of virtue (Proverbs 31:10-31) who loves God. I hope for the latter and fear for the former.

But God is good and He knows my heart. And through Jesus Christ, I have been washed clean and will stand before God someday with an advocate who died for me and who took the punishment that was reserved for me. Then why should I fear what people think, other than fear that in my weaknesses I do not turn them away from God. However, God works all thing for His Glory... even my weaknesses.

"In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. " Romans 8:26-28

Happy New Year!

I hope you had a great Christmas and are having a wonderful New Year. I am sorry for my blog silence over the past weeks, but I did not realize so much time had passed since my previous post until I sat down to write a new post a few days ago. God has been working on me over the past couple of weeks in ways I cannot even begin to describe. He has been molding me and shaping me into the person He knows I can be. I only wish that my resistance were less, maybe I could have learned a few of the lessons an easier way.

My weakest and most difficult moment during my recent trials, came last weekend when I was stuck in bed, literally. Prior to visiting the doctor first thing Monday morning, I could not take care of my children or my husband. I could barely stand, let alone walk. I do not know what caused my back to spasm as it did. But I do know that God was there helping me through it and teaching me with it. Wednesday, I was able to return to work with minimal pain.

During this trial, the selfish part of me asked God to heal me, and the person God is making me into added to my prayer that if He chose not to heal me, that He would use it for His Glory. Not only did He heal me, but He used my trial as a teaching tool for me.

When I was at my weakest and did not think I could take a step but knew I needed to get to the other room, I cried out to God to give me the strength to push through my pain. He gave me strength. When I needed help to get into the bathroom, He sent my amazing husband in to help me up. He also gave me the courage to be weak. Yes, I admit, I am afraid of being weak and needing to ask for help. But God showed me that I have a wonderful support in my husband. And through this trial, God showed me person after person who continue on everyday and somehow manage to get past the pain and heartaches that I was merely tasting for a moment. And maybe in the same way strengthening me to be able to get through the trials that are yet to come.

Oh, how I pray that I can be a window to His Glory and stand strong through the trials that are to come and yet be weak when He desires me to be weak and pliable.

"O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory. Because Your loving kindness is better than life, My lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name." Psalm 63:1-4

Just When I Needed It Most...

I am constantly amazed by God's Grace and Mercy. The past couple of weeks I have been struggling spiritually as my resolve to follow Christ has been tested.

Today, in my Sunday School class, God gave me an answer to my recent prayers. I walked in our class late this morning after struggling whether to even go at all. The class was discussing Luke 21:12-17. As we discussed being persecuted for Christ, I realized that if I cannot be faithful to Him in the small trials that I am facing, how am I going to be faithful when the real persecution starts? Or am I going to buckle when being faced with losing a family member or even my own life?

There are people who are currently being persecuted and killed for declaring the word, who continue to stand strong and true to Christ. (See Voice of the Martyrs) And here am I, comfortable in my faith and the minute a negative breeze swings in my direction, I buckle. What good am I then for Christ? What a wake up call for me!

But how gracious and loving is Christ that He would remind me of this. He could have simply let me continue my downward path and let me quit. But no, he gently reminded me that I am His and that the trials that I am facing were promised to me the moment he claimed me as His own. And how much more wonderful that through my trials, a person has come to a better understanding of who God is! Who am I to minimize this victory by selfishly focusing on the trials instead of focusing on God and His Greatness?

"In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Just as it is written, "FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED."

But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:26-39