Burdens

It is interesting how much has happened in the two weeks since I posted my testimony on this blog. I started posting with the hope that even one person in my family would read the post and turn to God. It seems that God has something else in mind, however. Through my posting, God is showing the areas in my life that need improving. For example, I am currently in a season of life where I have to work outside of the home. My heart has been yearning to come home to raise my children, especially with Kaesi starting Kindergarten next year. I have let this desire consume me during the past week enough that I have had a lot of trouble focusing at work.

Although I have completed my work, I have done it begrudgingly. I have even started to think about ways that I could end my job. Here is the thing, I gave this burden to God the last time I started to feel this way (months ago). This past week I tried to take it back from God. He "gently" reminded me today that I gave this burden to Him and that I couldn't have it back. The interesting thing is, he used something almost unrelated to show me the truth.

I was looking for a way to "politely" tell someone to guard their tongue, and instead found the following verse:

"...and do not give the devil an opportunity. He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:27-32

As I read these verses, God opened my eyes to the fact that by not working wholeheartedly while at work I was in essence stealing. And by holding on to the bitterness that I was quickly stockpiling because of issues at work and home, I was/am grieving the Holy Spirit of God. Ouch!

It reminded me of Romans where Paul struggles with wanting to do good, but failing because of his humanity. Please forgive my paraphrase, here is the Bible passage: Romans 7:14-25 And you have to read Romans 8 when you are finished with that...

Since I am unable to say it any better than Paul, I will end this post with this: Though I am weak, God is sending me through the refiners fire and will make me strong in Him. He is creating in me a new person through Jesus Christ His Son.