Why is it so hard to believe in something that we haven't seen? I know there have been times where I thought it would be so much easier if I had lived when Jesus lived and witnessed first hand His Majesty. But would I have been one of the scoffers, or one of the believers? I hope that I would have been one of the believers, and fear that I would have been one of the multitude yelling, "Crucify Him!"
24 But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came.
25 So the other disciples were saying to him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe."
26 After eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors having been shut, and stood in their midst and said, "Peace be with you."
27 Then He said to Thomas, "Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing."
28 Thomas answered and said to Him, "My Lord and my God!"
29 Jesus said to him, "Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed."
However, when I make a choice to sin instead of following Christ, or believe the lies that throw me into a self-pitying pool of depression, is that not me yelling, "Crucify Him!"? Even now, God is stripping my and exposing my sins one by one. But even through this, Christ is taking me and saying, "you are Mine!" and scouring each of the sins from my life. I use the word scouring, because He is not just removing the sins that I have embraced for so long, but He is removing them and refining me with fire.
I think the reason that I doubt sometimes as mentioned in my previous post is that I see the other possibly real Christians around me that look like they are not walking through the fires at all. They have everything that we judge to be the perfect Christian life: the kids, the home, the car, the attitude, the missionary work, the homeschool, etc... The list goes on and on.
And then I look at my life thinking here I am trying to trust in God, believing that His work will be done, loving my children wishing I could be at home with them as a good Christian mother would do... but then slowly, I am realizing am I not coveting my neighbor's life? There I go breaking the tenth commandment.
So what should I believe? That I can have my best life now? Or that if I endure, and wait patiently on God, that He will finish the work He has started in me until at last I can stand before Him and hear Him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." I don't think I have a choice in what I believe anymore. I have to believe in Jesus Christ and the promise that He has made that "whosoever should believe in Him [Jesus Christ] should not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16. Not because it is the right thing to do, or because some preacher told me it's how I can get into heaven.
No, it is only because God told me that by trusting in Him and believing the promise of His Son, that I am His and it doesn't matter how much scouring or fire I have to endure, it is no more that I deserve from a just and merciful God who sent His Son to bear the wrath for my sins all the while hearing me joyfully proclaim, "Crucify Him!"...
What do you believe?