Happy New Year!

I hope you had a great Christmas and are having a wonderful New Year. I am sorry for my blog silence over the past weeks, but I did not realize so much time had passed since my previous post until I sat down to write a new post a few days ago. God has been working on me over the past couple of weeks in ways I cannot even begin to describe. He has been molding me and shaping me into the person He knows I can be. I only wish that my resistance were less, maybe I could have learned a few of the lessons an easier way.

My weakest and most difficult moment during my recent trials, came last weekend when I was stuck in bed, literally. Prior to visiting the doctor first thing Monday morning, I could not take care of my children or my husband. I could barely stand, let alone walk. I do not know what caused my back to spasm as it did. But I do know that God was there helping me through it and teaching me with it. Wednesday, I was able to return to work with minimal pain.

During this trial, the selfish part of me asked God to heal me, and the person God is making me into added to my prayer that if He chose not to heal me, that He would use it for His Glory. Not only did He heal me, but He used my trial as a teaching tool for me.

When I was at my weakest and did not think I could take a step but knew I needed to get to the other room, I cried out to God to give me the strength to push through my pain. He gave me strength. When I needed help to get into the bathroom, He sent my amazing husband in to help me up. He also gave me the courage to be weak. Yes, I admit, I am afraid of being weak and needing to ask for help. But God showed me that I have a wonderful support in my husband. And through this trial, God showed me person after person who continue on everyday and somehow manage to get past the pain and heartaches that I was merely tasting for a moment. And maybe in the same way strengthening me to be able to get through the trials that are yet to come.

Oh, how I pray that I can be a window to His Glory and stand strong through the trials that are to come and yet be weak when He desires me to be weak and pliable.

"O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory. Because Your loving kindness is better than life, My lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name." Psalm 63:1-4